Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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