Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Randomize
