Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
