Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
