Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
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Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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