Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
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