oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize