STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
