Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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