yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
