Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
