Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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