I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
