bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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