Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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