Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
