Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just want to make out with him forever
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
