Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
