Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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