you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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