theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
