Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
