The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
