I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
