Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
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I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
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She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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