dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
