there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
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