No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
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