I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
