quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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