He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
