In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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