I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
