First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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