I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
