At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
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