she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
