in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
im on a boat
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