So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
one might say we're banned from that church
I think my fart just growled at me.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
The Olympian is in my bed
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