this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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