We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize