im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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