Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
