I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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