i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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