Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
