We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
