That's intense
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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