Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
