You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
