Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
