I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
