What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
