So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
