i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
Randomize
