I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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