I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
