**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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