Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
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