their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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